Daily tools & techniques to utilize throughout the whole month
A daily Action Plan in the form of a promise to yourself
Let’s take a sneak peak at how you might use another Mindful Fertility technique:
Understanding the underlying thoughts that feed into jealous feelings may help you understand yourself better and even reduce these feelings.
Common Jealousy Rational #1: “I would be a much better parent, but Ms. Terrible-Mother gets pregnant yet again.”
Why do women get pregnant who were “not even trying”? Why does your co-worker become “accidentally pregnant” when you can’t purposefully get pregnant for months or years now? Why is your neighbor, who you believe to be a terrible mother, able to pop out kids with ease, but you, who you believe would be an awesome mother, can’t conceive no matter how hard you try?
The truth is that pregnancy doesn’t discriminate. Becoming pregnant is not dependent on how “hard you try”, nor on whether you’d make a good parent or a bad one.
Common Jealousy Rational #2: “How dare she complain! She has no idea how lucky she is.”
Nothing stirs up jealousy and anger more than when a lucky friend starts complaining about morning sickness, or having to wake up with the baby in the middle of the night. How dare she complain when you would give everything to have a baby?
Well, here’s the thing to keep in mind: When you’re pregnant, you’ll also probably want to complain. And if you force yourself to keep a happy appearance on the outside throughout pregnancy and the postpartum period, you may set yourself up for feeling depressed. (Because let’s face it, pregnancy and early parenthood isn’t easy, and keeping your struggles a secret isn’t good for your mental health.) In fact, having experienced infertility puts you at a higher risk for developing postpartum depression.
When you hear your friend complaining, remember that whining about pregnancy and the newborn period is also part of the experience. It’s not that they don’t appreciate what they have – they do.
Also, remember that pregnancy and new motherhood are a both a blessing and a difficult experience to go through. Complaining isn’t a sign they don’t appreciate it – it’s part of the reality of pregnancy and parenting.
Common Jealousy Rational #3: “Why her and not me?”
There are two rationales behind this one. One is a kind of silly notion we have that pregnancies are in short supply. Almost like if all your friends get pregnant, there won’t be enough “pregnant” to go around for you, which isn’t true of course.
The other rational behind this one is more accurately, “Why not me?” It’s the sadness peaking out from behind the jealousy.
Recent studies have shown that women dealing with fertility challenges have the same stress levels of those with a chronic illness. This stress and anxiety is proven to be a leading cause of Infertility. Believe it or not, our bodies are equipped to prevent conception from occurring during times of extreme stress. The presence of adrenalin, the hormone that is released by our bodies during stressful times, signals to our body that conditions are not ideal for conception. Learning Mindful Fertility techniques will help empower you and give you the tools to work through feelings such as frustration and sadness, allowing you to find inner peace + strength.