Mindful Fertility techniques that can help you deal with challenging situations
The experience of infertility is often all encompassing and at times debilitating. If this sounds familiar, please know that what you are feeling is completely normal. There are tools you can use to shift your life into a more positive place despite the uncertainty and the constant desire of wanting something you don’t yet have.
When our minds focus on our limitations and the need to fix the problem, we strengthen the idea that we are not ok the way we are. Mindful Fertility techniques are powerful tools that can help shift the way we experience ourselves and combat our own negative self-judgments. Eliciting a feeling of acceptance, even for just for just a moment, alters our bodies on a physiological level. It also changes the way we experience life and relaxes both our body and mind. Are you able to elicit a feeling of acceptance? Even for just a moment?
Practicing Mindfulness: the 3 A’s – Awareness, Acceptance and Action.
Let’s use the example of feeling upset when you see a woman who is holding a newborn baby to work through this exercise.
Step 1. Awareness:
Notice your thoughts and check in to see how you are feeling. Perhaps you can get a sense of how those feelings show up in your physical body.
Thoughts: “Why does she have a baby and I don’t?” “What makes her so special?” “Why can’t that be me?”
Emotions: “I feel angry and jealous.” “Now I feel guilty for thinking mean thoughts.”
Step 2. Acceptance:
Acceptance is such an important step, and it’s one that most people skip over. They end up holding negative emotions like anger and guilt in the physical body. Then they turn to self-judgment, and the self-defeating cycle continues.
Create new thoughts: “I am feeling angry and jealous, and it’s okay.” “I am feeling guilty and it’s okay.” “I am where I am and it’s okay.”
Step 3. Action
Sometimes Step 2, Acceptance, is the Action step. There will be times that the process of making peace with your thoughts and feelings is enough to soften the negative emotions. Other times you will need to take action. It is important to choose the action steps that work well for you.
Here are some examples of effective action steps:
Take 10 deep breaths
Imagine you can simply exhale guilt and inhale forgiveness
Repeat an affirmation: “I trust that I will be a mother”
Inhale “I am,” exhale “calm”
Go for a walk
Take a bath
Write in a journal
Talk to a friend or your partner
reference Amira Posner