We Aren’t Used To Failing
This infertility thing is big blow. We are used to thriving so this is a blind side. We are so thankful and blessed in so many areas of our life. We are truly thankful for them. Believe me when I tell you, we’ve worked hard to get to every single one of them. We don’t want pity parties. We want understanding, not sad puppy dog eyes. Infertility is a part of our lives, but it is not all of who we are. So just ease up on the judgement, questioning and advice. Navigating this road takes immense strength and courage but we often don’t feel strong. We were not given a choice to be here but will fight like heck to get through it.
We Don’t Move On
Infertility is extremely complex. We are forced to move on and try again but emotionally we are often not ready. It has a way of tricking us into believing that bad outcomes will happen again, and again and even when we know that it’s not always the case, we will be terrified. When you experience loss/disappointment on this level, your safety net is ripped open and you live in constant fight or flight mode. Most of the time we don’t show it but it does come out in ways we are not always proud of. Please be (extra) gentle and give us some slack. We feel like we don’t have time. Time to heal. Time to wait. Time to see…
We Are Easily Overwhelmed and Triggered. (Can you blame us!)
If you reach out and we don’t respond right away, we’re not being rude, we’re trying to protect ourselves from endless triggers. We often live on a schedule set by Dr’s for different treatments. Going to appointments we don’t want to be at. Up way too early for any sane human being. Giving ourselves shots in crazy places on our body. Taking drugs that make us feel emotional and irrational. We are having uncomfortable procedures and talking about awkward situations on the daily. So, anything baby related will be a huge trigger right now. We are in between worlds…We are either freshly hurt or going in completely terrified. We’re trying to keep it all together and juggling 10k different things at once. It’s hard to put our self first so please don’t make us apologize for it. We need extra help and understanding right now. There we said it. So please, don’t add extra pressure or guilt trips on us. Check in. Say hi, lend a hand, heart or ear.
We Are Aware of Our Irrational Thoughts And Hate Ourselves For It (Trust me)
We know all the stats and all our odds and remind our self to flip them around, to stay positive but that doesn’t stop us from fearing the wort case scenarios. The what ifs, that constantly play in our minds. Understand if we hate every pregnant woman around us. We know that these emotions are not always rational, but we don’t need to be reminded of it. We already beat our self up about it. Trust me. Just be on our team no matter what. Sometimes that means Team Bitter Betty and Jealous Jenny. Don’t leave us hangin!
We Want You To Just Imagine For A Second
We want nothing more than for people to try and imagine what it feel like for even a second. There are certain things that we’ll avoid altogether, like baby showers, birthdays, hanging out with pregnant friends. Don’t take it personally. It’s complicated, but basically we are happy for you but sad for us. So when you dismiss your blessing of a child or being pregnant, even for a second it makes us angry. You have to get that. We’re aware that if you’ve never experienced infertility than you can’t relate, but that shouldn’t stop you from being understanding and compassionate. Especially if you are blessed with children yourself. If not YOU to empathize with us, than who??
BONUS! We Appreciate Your Support So Much.
Know that we appreciate you for taking the time to just be there and for sticking by us as we fight this hard road. Your love and support means more than we can even express. It is felt in those quite, sometimes darkest moments, when we feel the most alone. When we get the text from you that says “Hey! Just wanted to say hi and see how you are.” That is EVERYTHING. That makes this fight possible again tomorrow. That is what helps the most, so thank you. xo
Getting support and being part of a community that just get’s it, is the single most important thing you can do!
With our Mindful Fertility program, Pre-Conception Diet Makeover and private groups, we help inspire, support and connect sisters daily, from pre-conception to post baby. We just launched our new all natural, organic fertility body care line called Bloom Essentials! Our community of support is the perfect accompaniment to fertility treatments and procedures you might be going through. Our sisterhood of support and guidance is tailored to those experiencing stress and anxiety related to infertility and related procedures such as IUI/IVF.