INSPIRE

Let’s stop celebrating stories with messages that make us feel inadequate.

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Getting support and being part of a community that just get’s it, is the single most important thing you can do!

With our Mindful Fertility program, Pre-Conception Diet Makeover and private groups, we help inspire, support and connect sisters daily, from pre-conception to post baby.  We just launched our new all natural, organic fertility body care line called Bloom Essentials! Our community of support is the perfect accompaniment to fertility treatments and procedures you might be going through. Our sisterhood of support and guidance is tailored to those experiencing stress and anxiety related to infertility and related procedures such as IUI/IVF.

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Infertility is having a full time career…

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Infertility is having a full-time career while also managing a full time second job. It is around the clock with no breaks. With a schedule set by other people who demand things on certain days, down to literally the exact minute. It also includes hours of paperwork, phone calls, research, travel and early am appointments. Procedures and drug cocktails added in that can leave you feeling like a totally different person. Emotionally it will be daily extreme highs and lows. Then there’s the spur of the moment tests, ultrasounds, injections and more blood needing to be drawn. All which can leave you feeling sore and achy, bruised, prodded, exposed and totally exhausted. Finally, there’s the waiting. Then even more waiting. Waiting for things you have no control over but must be prepared for at the drop of a hat, no matter how much you plan or try to control.

Getting support and being part of a community that just get’s it, is the single most important thing you can do!

With our Mindful Fertility program, Pre-Conception Diet Makeover and private groups, we help inspire, support and connect sisters daily, from pre-conception to post babyWe just launched our new all natural, organic fertility body care line called Bloom Essentials!

Our community of support is the perfect accompaniment to fertility treatments and procedures you might be going through. Our sisterhood is tailored to those experiencing stress and anxiety related to infertility and related procedures such as IUI/IVF.

love

Infertility makes it more difficult to trust…

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Just when you think you know what your body is telling you, it can turn out to be the exact opposite. Which leaves you thinking you don’t know your body at all. That you are even imagining symptoms, which leaves you feeling disconnected from yourself.

Just when you start to feel hopeful, you are knocked down by disappointment of a failed cycle. Which leaves you feeling like ‘why bother’. Why allow myself to go all in emotionally if I’m only going to be hurt again and again.

Just when you think you are feeling more secure and stable you are floored with uncontrollable feelings of resentment and jealousy. Which leaves you feeling lost, overly emotional and alone.

So, if someone asks what infertility feels like month after month it’s THIS. It’s soldiering on despite all those feelings. It’s the mental game of telling yourself the self detriment is not true. Reminding yourself that you DO know your body, you do trust your symptoms, that it is ok to go all in and stay positive and hopeful, and that feeling angry and jealous doesn’t make you a bad person.

Promise me you will remind yourself that pregnancy symptoms and other hormone induced symptom are almost exactly the same! That’s why it’s so tricky and hard. It’s not that you don’t know your own body because you DO. You know it better than anyone else. Reminding yourself that committing to the next round with an open heart is terrifying but that your one day baby deserves a start like that. Filled with positive emotions and only loving warm thoughts. That each month can be a new start, despite the disappointments before. That carrying over the pain is not helpful emotionally to your own being. Reminding yourself that healing is always two steps forward and one step back. That you are only human. (And an exceptional one!!) That some days we feel on top of everything and some days we are just surviving. Triggers can creep in, even on our best of days. It doesn’t mean you are not ok or doing enough. Remind yourself you had a 90% strong, centered and amazing day. Let the other 10% go. 💞

Getting support and being part of a community that just get’s it, is the single most important thing you can do!

With our Mindful Fertility program, Pre-Conception Diet Makeover and private groups, we help inspire, support and connect sisters daily, from pre-conception to post baby.  We just launched our new all natural, organic fertility body care line called Bloom Essentials! Our community of support is the perfect accompaniment to fertility treatments and procedures you might be going through. Our sisterhood  is tailored to those experiencing stress and anxiety related to infertility and related procedures such as IUI/IVF.

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Don’t make us doubt our reason WHY.

Don't.pngIf you have never gone through the struggle of trying to start a family and/or experienced loss, you don’t know the bottomless depths of what infertility can feel like. Please stop making suggestions or adding silver linings to soften what we are enduring. If you’ve had the luxury of having children and planning your pregnancy, getting pregnant and carrying your child, you don’t get to have an opinion about our choices.

Period.

To have an opinion about our choices to have a child, makes it seem like you honestly underestimate the yearning and need to have your own biological child? To experience the smallest of pleasures of planning that pregnancy, the excitement and wonder of carrying the child inside you. How can you really just toss aside the value of that whole entire experience? If you didn’t, you wouldn’t dismiss why we fight month after month and spend 10’s of thousands of dollars for just one more chance at that experience. Why we don’t ‘just adopt’ or use other means that doesn’t involve our own bodies first. How can you dismiss that, like it’s something we can just overcome and happily go onto Plan B, like it’s no big deal. We might get to our Plan B, but right now we are not there and we need you to see the value of our sacrifice.

If you are in our life the only role we need from you is support and understanding. Pep talks, judgment and sugar-coating our situation have no place in this circle. Helping us means no suggestions, no have you tried, are you sure’s, or pity about our reality and the choices we are choosing to make right now. We need to only be reminded that our choices are  valued and how proud you are of us for being courageous enough to continue to fight and work towards them.

Don’t ever make us doubt our reason WHY. That’s like us asking you to doubt your child. To second guess their importance and value to your life.

So, if you are here in the long run to support us through this season, please by all means check in, give us a hug and include us in all the plans. We might be here for a while and to be forgotten is just another heart-break from those we care about. We already feel like everyone is moving on around us. Please don’t leave us feeling more alone. ‘How’s the baby making going?’ is not the right thing to ask. Ask if we need a night out to talk and just hang. Ask if we want to spend the afternoon doing something fun! Talk about your life and just connect authentically. You don’t have to walk on egg shells. Most of all encourage us when we feel like we can’t go on and are failing. We want to do the same for you…(Because believe me we are already beating ourselves up on a daily basis for a million things.)

We will pretend to be okay for the sake of people who don’t understand. We will look strong from the outside because we don’t want to burden others. We will even brush off our pain and disappointment to make everyone feel more comfortable. We will smile and turn the attention back onto you. Be the person we don’t have to do that with… Be that person because we need you more than ever.

Getting support and being part of a community that just get’s it, is the single most important thing you can do!

With our Mindful Fertility program, Pre-Conception Diet Makeover and private groups, we help inspire, support and connect sisters daily, from pre-conception to post babyWe just launched our new all natural, organic fertility body care line called Bloom Essentials! Our community of support is the perfect accompaniment to fertility treatments and procedures you might be going through. Our sisterhood  is tailored to those experiencing stress and anxiety related to infertility and related procedures such as IUI/IVF.

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1 in 7 makes infertility common, but that doesn’t make it any less traumatic.

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1 in 7 makes infertility common, but that doesn’t make it any less traumatic. Whether you’ve ever had a positive pregnancy test an ultrasound or heard a heartbeat. You grieved. Whether it was labelled an ectopic or blighted ovum, chemical pregnancy or embryo. It was still your baby. The trauma and grief of not having that baby is the same. They all count. They all matter. They all should be acknowledged. Yet time and time again women TTC get blindsided with comments that disregard their experience and are met with questions that only bring shame. As if there is some unspoken hierarchy to this TTC process. Women are being denied their grief because we as a culture won’t acknowledge and see it for what it is. The judgment is exactly what we need to fight to remove from these conversations. The stigma prevents women from healing and from sharing their stories. The truth is, it’s not that society doesn’t know about infertility and loss, it’s that we are still meeting it without the dignity it deserves. We live in a society that finds this experience uncomfortable. That feels the need to ‘be positive’ and finds expressing pain and sharing rock bottoms weak and even seen as unstable. It is quite the opposite. 100%. Positivity can be toxic to healing. Yes you read that right. Toxic. The need to always look happy and positive even through trauma, can lead to denial of real emotions. Couples with infertility are constantly told to just ‘relax’, ‘stay hopeful’ and ‘don’t ever give up.’ But at what cost? Ignoring and/or suppressing real emotions like fear, jealousy, anxiety only allows them to grow stronger and fester. Allowing for symptoms to creep into daily life, in ways most don’t even recognize. Not sleeping, feeling anxious for ‘no reason’, being on edge, restless and detachment. We don’t need to judge how we are feeling or how someone else might be feeling, we only need to label it. Labeling our experiences as they are; ugly, traumatic, devastating, crippling…allows us to own these rock bottom moments and take actions and movement forward, into a safer place together.

Getting support and being part of a community that just get’s it, is the single most important thing you can do!

With our Mindful Fertility program, Pre-Conception Diet Makeover and private groups, we help inspire, support and connect sisters daily, from pre-conception to post baby.  We just launched our new all natural, organic fertility body care line called Bloom Essentials! Our community of support is the perfect accompaniment to fertility treatments and procedures you might be going through. Our sisterhood of support and guidance is tailored to those experiencing stress and anxiety related to infertility and related procedures such as IUI/IVF.

love

Trying to conceive is a full-time job.

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When a BFP does happen, you get the applause and congrats, an outpouring of love and support. But when it doesn’t happen, you have people who make you question why. Who make you feel guilty for perhaps not doing enough. Who make you question if you are enough. Instead of giving you support for everything you did do. Who make you question the one glass of wine you had or french fries you ate or maybe if you had only done more detoxing, acupuncture, yoga or took more vitamins. The truth is we don’t question pregnant women when their pregnancy becomes high risk, if they get gestational diabetes or pre eclampsia. We don’t put the ‘blame’ back on them. We see the situation as separate from them, something they can’t always control. Which allows for nurturing and empathy for what they have to endure. Women trying to conceive deserve this same understanding. Any complication they might have while trying to get pregnant, is not their fault. It’s nothing they did or didn’t do. They shouldn’t be left feeling like their bodies are failing or that they have control over the outcome if only they tried harder and did more. Women living in this 4 week increment deserve all the support and understanding in the world. They need reassurance that they are enough and have done enough. They don’t need to be left questioning their own bodies and choices they have made. We need to reassure them they DO know their own bodies best. We need to acknowledge the very important job that they are doing, often without an end in sight and with a for sure reward at the end. We need to acknowledge the strength AND courage it takes to continue fighting and remind them of their own. Because the ones who are fighting the hardest shouldn’t feel this invisible. 💕

Getting support and being part of a community that just get’s it, is the single most important thing you can do!

With our Mindful Fertility program, Pre-Conception Diet Makeover and private groups, we help inspire, support and connect sisters daily, from pre-conception to post baby.  We just launched our new all natural, organic fertility body care line called Bloom Essentials! Our community of support is the perfect accompaniment to fertility treatments and procedures you might be going through. Our sisterhood of support and guidance is tailored to those experiencing stress and anxiety related to infertility and related procedures such as IUI/IVF.

love