INSPIRE

Promise me…

 

 

There is immense pride in this vulnerable, courageous place. To admit we are in pain, yet still fighting. It’s an uncomfortable place to share with others because people want to fix that,  take away that pain. Well, honesty this pain is courage, it’s real and really, its the things that almost do break us, that make us who we are.

I hope you remember to be proud of yourself today. During each step along the way. In the courage to try, the pain, the loss and the vulnerable, scary places. I hope you know that if you ever have to do it all again, these hard, painful parts, you can, because you must and you won’t ever be alone.

That is my promise to you.

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Some days aren’t meant for healing.

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Some days can leave you feeling (irrationally) angry with those around you. It can take everyday interaction with people and turn them into huge triggers. Waiting in line at a store, hanging out with a friend, a Facebok post, a commercial, a coworker. Small daily things get amplified and suddenly the person complaining they are tired becomes incredibly annoying, when a friend posts about her naughty toddler, a pregnant co worker proclaims she is so done with her pregnancy belly, a next door neighbor yells at her toddler, a story on the news about harm to a newborn baby, a good friend gets knocked up by mistake (again). Sure it’s not rational but neither is fighting Infertility every.single.dam.day.of.your.life.

Trying to hold on to who you are, when not obsessing about trying to get pregnant, is one of the hardest battles you will ever fight. Sometimes you wonder who you would be without this daily fight. Would you be the girl who smiles more? One ready for adventure at any moment? Making plans on a whim? Would you be connecting with those around you better? Closer? Not having to keep so much of your world and parts of you private. Hiding how you are truly feeling to most…Would you feel more included? Would you have gone on that trip? Bought that car? House? Would you have a different life??? Yes, perhaps.

Some days aren’t meant for healing.

Or moving forward.

Some days are just meant to be.

Days to just be in whatever mood you are feeling. This allows yourself to be free of the constant spiral. It allows your tomorrow to be a more present one. Where you know that infertility is a battle you have to fight, but where you also know you’ve done, and are doing everything in your power you can to fight it. It lets your soul and heart exist in a present where you are supported with love around you. Where you can share your feelings and feel calmer. Exist in the present where you know you have no control after a certain point. So you will let go to fill that space with comfort however the heck you need to!! Exist in the present where you are nurturing what YOU need and not worrying about how others might feel. A better you, because you took today.

Learning To Be A Warrior (Guest Post!)

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This journey has taken me to places I never imagined. But the greatest part is learning that I am a warrior.

No matter what life you choose to live, if you want to make it and become something, you become a warrior. Different warriors do different things, but we all fight. Most of us have altered the idea of what we thought our life was going to be like. This messed me up A LOT… it still does, but the warrior inside is getting stronger. Becoming more aware that not having it all planned out brings you more joy than ever imagined.

I used to despise the notion that my life hasn’t turned out the way i thought it would be. I loved the idea that everything was already in place and everything comes when the time is right.  Although I still feel strongly about the the latter, this came with a fight. I liked to sit with the idea that the map was already out there and my path was made. As I grow and become more mindful I am seeing we must forge our own path.

I had the “idea” that when I got married I would simply create a family. Now I am experiencing that I must fight for this family. Fight my emotions, fight my fears, fight my budget and most of all fight the ideal life I  had created for myself inside my head. I must redefine what it means to make a family.

A tremendous part of how I am where I am at is because of the people I surround myself with. These are the people  who help us create who we are. As I sit and write this I see my crystal bracelet a friend got me when we decided to do IVF. I am wearing earrings with the viking symbol for fertility another dear friend recently got me on a trip. My faith space is covered with letters and images from my tribe of women encouraging and showing up .  Without the support of others I would not feel as strong.

The support of women, in particular, has shifted my entire life. There is definitely a movement happening where women empowering other women is being encouraged. I hate to admit it, but I grew up feeling like only a few women are in your circle and the rest are competition. In the past few years I have actively worked on this and it has honestly been easier than I had imagined. There are still things that I am working on, but overall it has been a achievable mindshift.

I see any woman now and I ask myself, “I wonder how she is being a warrior today?” Strangers on the street, mothers at my work, coworkers in my school, and especially to those in the fertility clinic beside me. I smile at each one and silently send love. 

We must encourage each other, no matter what. I have taken part in multiple women’s circles and left feeling stronger. Sharing our stories connects us in ways I never imagined.

After the first year of trying I had started to close people off. I told only the few who I could trust not to tell all. It became this heavy weight. Once I found my first women’s group I opened up to people I had never met before. I shared true emotions that I had never told anyone and they told me I was OK. They helped me believe that I was enough, baby or not. I still hold onto words spoken in this sacred place.

Knowing I am not alone has made all the difference. It is easy for people to say things to make you feel better, but it is all about the actions. Showing up… even when you don’t want to. Being a warrior in others lives is now something I look for. I am becoming passionate about encouraging others to thrive in any way they need. Just saying, “Let me know how I can help.” is not enough! Although I am only speaking for myself I am guessing others feel similar. Just actually show up. 

I think about being younger and being fed negative ideas about how to react to others, especially women. I am not saddened about the ideas I fed off of as a youth. Without those I may not be in the mind frame I am today. But, I would like to challenge those beliefs. I am practicing seeing other women as the true warriors they are… even the ones announcing their pregnancy, or those giving me advice to “just relax.” This takes time and is not coming with ease, but some of the greatest things in life take work.

Recall a warrior in your own life. Someone who sees you for the glorious mess that you are and still wants to be around you. Thank them for their support. Pass on their support to others. Show up.

Thank you to the people who continue to ask about my journey. You are acknowledging that I am living authentically and that it can be messy. Thank you for encouraging me as I get another blood test and eagerly ask about the results. It may sound mundane, but it means the world.  

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Looking at her, you wouldn’t know she is struggling.

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Looking at her, you wouldn’t know she has feelings of incredible loss.
Looking at her, you wouldn’t know she is paralyzed in fear.
Looking at her, you wouldn’t know she feels lost.
Looking at her, you wouldn’t know she feels anxiety.
Looking at her, you wouldn’t know she feels angry.
Looking at her, you wouldn’t know she is still terrified but fighting.

You wouldn’t ever guess she deals with all of these emotions daily. Behind her smile and ability to ‘just stay positive,’ is a terrified woman with #infertility. Sometimes she feels like she is invisible, with an invisible fight, experiencing invisible pain. Does anyone even notice or validate her struggle? She wants to be taken seriously, but until society acknowledges the #anxiety#depression and #stress of Infertility, it will never be part of a very important conversation. And without more awareness, we can’t ever move forward to break the stigma, and ask for the help and support truly needed.

What does Infertility anxiety, depression and stress look like to you? Would it be a emotional and physical breakdown? Would it be crying, yelling, not being able to get out of bed in the morning? Would it be totally shutting down, refusing to see friends and family? For some people, this is what it can be like, but for most this is not the case. It looks like you have your life together. You even look great, you invest in your health and always go the extra mile for family and friends, you attend social functions, you excel in your job, you travel, you have hobbies…You learn to function at this level month after month, then months turn into years. At what cost to your mind, body and spirit? With not speaking out about the harsh realities of Infertility, is the risk of people thinking it’s not real. And it is. It is crippling some days. It is pain and loss on a level most can’t even imagine. It is starting over and over, until you feel you have hit rock bottom. Then mustering the courage and strength to start over again.

Sister fighting this way, you need to know, you are not invisible. Your struggle is not invisible. Your loss is not invisible. Your pain is not invisible.You are powerful and you are so very loved and valued. Finding a safe place to reach out and share your story, to get support and encouragement is key. Sharing your story and what you are feeling is healing and will help heal someone else. Our community is always here with open arms and listening ears… No one should have to do this alone. You don’t have to feel overwhelmed. There is light through this tunnel!! There is a community of sisters feeling and experiencing the exact same thing and together, we can take this on. One day at a a time. Step by step.

Start by admitting how you are feeling.

Start by taking the first step to reach out.

Start by sharing how you are truly feeling.

Start, knowing you are in a safe place to share and ask for help. ❤️

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The thought of being a burden is what keeps you quiet. It keeps you silent, not wanting to rock the boat, or make a fuss.

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She had felt blah before. The usual ups and downs from navigating life. She’d experienced hardship, some that had left her forever changed. But depression feels so different. It was certainly not something she had ever felt before. But, she has now. She called it her reverse light bulb moment. When everything she thought she knew for sure, all of a sudden made no sense.

There she sat, surrounded by everything that usually filled her with immense joy that now she just felt numb to. Experiencing depression is like leaving your body, then watching and feeling from the outside. Longing to crawl back in. Hormone induced depression, whether it be from infertility/fertility drugs, pmdd, pcos, pregnancy, postpartum, or menopause is absolutely no joke and we need to start taking it seriously.

It’s not about what you have or don’t have in your life. Feeling depressed isn’t about feeling ‘sad’ about one thing. It’s not about cheering yourself up or being more positive, or grateful. It’s your body/brain chemicals unable to connect and program properly. This can be brought on for many different reasons. Everyone’s reasons are different. Everything starts to feel overwhelming. Something small can trigger a horrible downward spiral. So, you teeter on lashing out or completely shutting down.

You realize there is only one thing worse than feeling ‘sad’ and that’s feeling nothing. Numb is a lonely, isolating emotion. Feeling like you are slipping away from the joys that used to fuel you. When the tiniest of joys were able to comfort you. Your morning coffee, a quiet afternoon moment, sun on your face, a hug from a friend, your pet, a night out, a delicious meal…Now you try to muster up enough energy to make it through your daily tasks. Finding motivation is hard. The feeling of being ‘lazy’ frustrates you, because you are far from it.

The thought of being a burden is what keeps you quiet. It keeps you silent, not wanting to rock the boat, or make a fuss. There are truths, that no matter how many times someone tries to reassure us, that we will never truly believe. No matter how much you think you know about depression and anxiety on paper, it will sneak up on you and slap you in the face. Your mind knows it’s not about weakness. You mind knows it’s not something you deserve. Your mind knows it’s not your fault. Your mind knows these feelings aren’t real. But your heart will question it all. All of it.

You owe so much to so many, so you keep putting one foot in front of the other. Who has time to take care of you, when you are the one who is supposed to takes care of others? Who the hell has time for depression?!

There is a feeling of shame. Of not being able to keep up with ‘life’ when everyone else can and is. You go through the daily motions, keeping your four walls held up. Not functioning is not an option. You don’t have time for the walls to collapse around you. You have dinner to make, a job, emails to reply to, family, friends and a husband, who loves and needs you… you have life. There is shame for possibly not looking grateful for everyone/everything you have.

Empathy you would give lovingly to someone else, you forget to give to yourself. So, the daily fight becomes giving yourself that small grace and permission to just accept your limits and where you are. So you keep climbing.

Accepting how you are feeling is not something that happens overnight. When you experience something like depression you are in complete shock. You are in denial and you are also in waiting…you wait for it to go away, to pass and to be ‘normal’ again. You try different things, hoping it’s just a bad mood. You keep waiting. Then days go by. Days that turn into weeks. Weeks into months. You have moments when you think it might be gone, but then you wake up feeling worse. It’s not a linear experience. It’s a confusing, sideways one and you start to question the why’s all over again. The more you question the more you realize it’s not anything you do or don’t do. Which gives you peace in some ways, yet leaves you feeling lost in another.

Admitting this might be part of your life right now, is also a terrifying. What if you don’t ‘snap’ out of this, what if this is the new you? What if you never feel the small joys you used to? This is where society talks about the getting help aspect of anxiety/depression. Just ask for help, get help, speak up, call the number and get fixed they say. Simple right? But, what you come to realize and learn is, getting help is not a quick fix. It is only a single courageous step, of many steps, in your own journey.

For everyone getting help means something different. The truth is, for most people with depression, they have gotten help and what they need you to know, is they are still fighting. This is their reality, even after getting that help. There’s no secret pill or therapy or way of life that helps everyone. So please give yourself some much deserved grace today, no matter what you might be fighting personally. And don’t believe what those darn brain chemicals try to tell you. We can’t take away difficult times for the people we love, but we can help carry them through their struggle and pain. We can carry them by reassuring them they are enough.That we are not a bother to one another and that it’s ok, to not be ok all the time. There is nothing more human or courageous than that.

Social medias need for 24/7 sharing of happiness, is leaving less and less room for acceptance of reality. Of what each of us experiences on a daily basis. More importantly, it doesn’t allow for acknowledging the daily courage that fight takes. Yes let’s celebrate each others smiles and good times but lets also celebrate the courage it takes to get through the bad ones.

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Most don’t know you are suffering today. (But I do. I see you.)

 

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You doubt this process and question your sanity.

You question if you can or even want to try again.

You question your faith.

Your purpose.

I see the exhaustion behind those questions.

I see the anxiety from researching the symptoms, medication, options and weighing the odds and percentages.

I hear your silent grief because you don’t want to be a burden to anyone, or seem negative. So you hold all that inside and navigate alone.

I feel your hope turn to anger in an instant because that’s just how quickly life changes in just two weeks. Then back to hope again…

I know you never dreamed you were strong enough to go through something like Infertility.

That you don’t always feel strong because most days you feel you don’t have a choice.

But you are. You are so strong!

You long for the day when this will all be a distant memory, but you don’t really know if or when that day will come.

I know the uncertainty breaks you sometimes.

I also know, you are so very loved and supported and have everything you need inside you to do this.

There is no failing on this path to motherhood, because it is NOT measured by the time it takes, or how you get there. There is no right or wrong way to become a mother.

So keep going, you’re right on the edge of something magical about to happen!! I see you.

Today, you are not suffering alone.  


Are you looking for some extra support and a wonderful sisterhood of women who just ‘get it’? Join us and enjoy 30 Days Of Mindful Fertility. Complimentary to all members!

p.s. Are you going through fertility treatments or will be soon? We made something just for you!  

PHOTOS WOMEN WITH INFERTILITY WANT TO POST ON SOCIAL MEDIA, BUT DON’T. (PART THREE)

 WELCOME TO PART THREE OF PHOTOS WOMEN WITH INFERTILITY WANT TO POST ON SOCIAL MEDIA, BUT DON’T.  

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The day I found out I was pregnant- and the day I miscarried. Joy & agony.
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Daily monitoring + veins hardened with scar tissues from years of infertility treatments. Every. time.
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Kinda self explanatory.
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Very early morning Drs apt.
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Nope not pregnant – just OHSS.
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Stims Day.
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Snuggling after? Nope, let’s in the air!
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Emby Baby!
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When we say we try everything, we mean everything…(Pineapple contains the enzyme bromelain, which is well known for it’s powerful anti-inflammatory properties. As well as being able to alleviate pain and swelling in inflammatory related conditions such as arthritis, bromelain can also reduce inflammation in the uterus. Brazil nuts are an incredible source of selenium, which is a mineral that helps to thicken the uterine wall, and a healthy lining aids implantation.)
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WARRIOR battle scars…
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Big gurl panties on for this one.
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Egg retrieval time…
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$4,000 worth of drugs. And just dropped another $3,000 for 2nd attempt at IVF!
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Oh and more meds.
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The little embryo that could… FINGERS AND TOES CROSSED!

We hope it will help raise awareness about the realities of #Infertility treatments like IVF/IUI, and what couples endure day after day for sometimes years to try and become parents.

Why is spreading awareness so important? Greater awareness means sending a clear message, ending stigma, and getting people to talk more openly about Infertility. This can be a huge step towards changing behavior and more importantly it could be a first step to positively addressing the policies that impact funding and grants for couples.

#WHATINFERTILITYLOOKSLIKE

 

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Join our community for love, support and guidance. Start your free 30 Days Of Mindful Fertility program NOW!

Learn about our hormone balancing health + wellness products!

Let’s Wish Happy Mother’s Day, To The Sister Still Fighting To Be One.

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Mother’s Day. It’s not just the day of the year couples with infertility dread, but it’s weeks running up to it as well. Weeks of endless photos, ads at the mall, cards, commercials and total bombardment on social media. A daily emotional trigger of what they don’t have yet. Or had and then painfully lost…Sometimes, multiple times.

We don’t have a word for when someone goes through fertility treatments like IVF or IUI and it ‘fails’. The loss of  an emby baby is just as real and painful and devastating. One thing is for certain, the love you have is instant, from the moment your emby baby is inside of you. It’s unconditional love.

You are a Mother.  

I want to wish all sisters still fighting infertility, a Happy Mother’s Day, then I want to sincerely apologize. I’m sorry you have to endure this fight. I’m sorry because it’s not fair. I’m so sorry this is happening to you. You don’t deserve this. No one does. I want you to know we see your loss. We validate your feelings. And more than anything , we acknowledge your precious emby baby’s life. It’s not just a ‘failed cycle’, it was your baby.

You are a Mother.

You are a mother because you would do anything for that emby baby. You are a mother because you are the most unselfish woman I know. Every single day you are putting your one day baby before yourself. Not many know sacrifice on this level. I know some days you doubt this process and lose all hope and faith and want to quit. Who would blame you? You’ve felt loss and disappointment on levels you never knew one could heal or come back from.

You are a Mother.

You are a mother because you are doing the best you can, with what you have and are holding on by a single thread. You are a mother because you continue to fight and endure, because you  weren’t given a choice. I want you to know, we know, just because you muster up enough strength to try again, it doesn’t mean any of it get’s easier. So let’s laugh, cry and beautifully acknowledge this part of  the story together. Let’s wish all sisters still trying a Happy Mother’s Day. Let’s honor their emby baby, let’s honor them and let’s honor the incredible strength and courage it took to carry on even, after they were left with empty arms.

Are you looking for some extra support and a wonderful sisterhood of women who just ‘get it’?

Join our community!!

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p.s. Are you going through fertility treatments or will be soon?  We made something just for you! 

Five things you need to know about us, as we fight Infertility.

For those of you reading this right now, who do not have to struggle with Infertility, I am going to share five things you need to know about couples who are. May these five incredible things encourage you to understand their fight and will to never give up on having their one day baby.

May it help you empathize with their life and this dream, one we often take for granted.

May it help you be more aware of what they truly have to endure.

May it simply just inspire you to appreciate them, and when the time comes, tell them how much you love and admire them.

5THINGS

For those couples reading this, who are fighting with Infertility right now. This one’s for you.

1. Couples with Infertility have superhuman strength when dealing with resiliency.

They don’t give up, despite debilitating loss and struggle they may experience month after month. They push through and grab hold of what they can, to find hope and inspiration. They dig deeper than they ever imagined they could and muster enough strength and courage, to try again. This relentless perseverance, is always an ongoing battle, to try and stay positive and hopeful. In a nut shell, they embody profound fortitude because they don’t have a choice. That is true courage. This is true dedication.

Reach out to them and acknowledge their incredible strength and courage.

2. Couples with Infertility are the most empathetic people you know.

Because they have endured their own difficult struggles, they are more in tune with those around them. They can spot a fake smile and tired eyes…They have extraordinary empathy and compassion for others, and a deep understanding of life’s hardships. So, they can truly appreciate someone else’s. When someone is hurting, they are often the first to respond and console with true compassion, because they know the significance of having support in those moments. Even with everything they have going on, they will take the time to offer you a shoulder to lean, and an ear to listen without judgment.

Reach out to them and tell them how much you appreciate their compassion as a friend.

3. Couples with Infertility have a much deeper perspective on life.

They are challenged emotionally and mentally month after month, with treatment after treatment. Test after test…They fight to find answers, meaning and fulfillment within their own daily limitations. So, small victories, bring huge elation and are reason to celebrate. They see life’s simple joys, because they are still fighting for them. Which is why, when people complain about them,  it can be such a trigger. They would gladly trade with you in a heart beat…

Reach out to them and tell them how you are inspired by their perspective.

4. Couples with Infertility often don’t tell you they are fighting.

Couples are often fighting for months on end, which slowly turn into years. They don’t want to burden… They might struggle privately because they hate to make people feel uncomfortable or obligated in any way. They don’t want pity or to see it in your eyes. You might notice they disappear sometimes and need space – they have to miss events, social activities, and friends and family gatherings. They desperately want to join, and to be there more than anything. They feel guilty for not being able to share with you, but they just can’t sometimes. They are secretly balancing two lives, and living in two worlds.

Reach out to them when you notice they aren’t around and let them know they are missed. Invite them anyway.

5. Couples have a whole private Infertility community.

They may not look like they are always struggling, but underneath their happy appearance there is a couple fighting with everything they have. They may fall apart as soon as they get home, after keeping the facade for hours wherever they were. They may be on a strict medical plan. Needles, medication, procedures, appointments…They may mask their fatigue from this and tell you they are ok. They can’t always share face to face with close family and friends, but do have a whole community of love and support they lean on. At any given moment, they have a whole medical team monitoring their every bodily move! Sometimes only people who have experienced something similar, truly understand, but it doesn’t mean they still don’t need you.

Reach out and just say hi, I’m thinking of you. Then listen, with empathy and love. Offer NO advice. 

 

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Joing our community for love, support and guidance.

Start your free 30 Days Of Mindful Fertility program NOW!

Learn about our hormone balancing health + wellness products!

Please, don’t underestimate how hard we are trying.

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When we are sitting in a room full of pregnant women, with babies bouncing on laps, happy smiling families, with joyful coos wrapped in blissful arms, please don’t underestimate how hard we are trying. How hard we are trying to smile. To belong, to feel present. If you only knew how much it took for us to hold it all in. If you only knew, you wouldn’t second guess why we don’t attend some gatherings. Why we can’t commit to things a month or two or three away. Spontaneity is not something we live much anymore.

When we wake up and log into social media and see more pregnancy announcements and ultrasound pics, gender reveals, newborn baby pics… Please don’t underestimate how hard we are trying. I’m sorry we have to ‘unfollow’ you for a while. Please know it’s never personal. It’s just too painful to see. We are truly happy for your joy, but can’t hold in our own feelings of jealousy and frustration. Please know we are trying, but we can only take so much.

When we find out we were the only ones not invited to the party, It makes us feel like we are invisible. Invisible in a world we are not a part of, because we don’t have kids yet. We pretend it doesn’t break our heart in a million pieces, that our best friends no longer include us – because they didn’t think we’d want to come to a kids birthday. Please don’t underestimate how hard it is to feel forgotten, but still have the courage to keep fighting, desperately searching for a place to belong. Stuck between worlds is a lonely place and a daily reminder of what we still don’t have.

When we can’t drink, or eat certain things or have to skip vacations and last minute family gatherings, it’s not because we are high maintenance, it’s because we are trying. Please don’t underestimate this daily fight. The one we hide through our smiles and silence. We are sorry for our silence about the truth, but it’s sometimes too hard to share. We don’t want to see pity in your eyes.

Please don’t underestimate the length to which we have obsessively lived month after month, because we are fighting. We are doing everything. We are tired. Living in a cycle of grief and failure, desperately trying to be better, do better.

It’s exhausting.

So please, never mistake any of it, for us not trying.

p.s. Have you joined us yet? What are you waiting for? xo

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Yes. We have tried…

Acupuncture, yoga, meditation, diets, exercise, vitamins, smoothies, going on vacation, and just relaxing.

No, we aren’t going to ‘just adopt.’

That’s great, that your best friends, sisters, next door neighbor got pregnant that way, but I trust my medical team and know my own body.

Keep Gods plan, all in good time, and meant to be’s to yourself please.

No, a pet is not the same as a child.

No, I shouldn’t be glad, that at least I know I can get pregnant.

No, we aren’t lucky we have so much time to ourselves, and get to sleep in on weekends.

No, babysitting your child isn’t a good trial.

No, you actually don’t know what it feels like.

There is no JUST in ‘just try again, when it costs thousands of dollars, painful procedures and sticking yourself with needles.

Yes, please be there with an empathetic heart and a big hug!

2018 – Good things are going to happen here…

This past Christmas I found myself reflecting a lot. It was a whole slew of emotions. I felt such a strong and overwhelming sense of community all around me. A beautiful collective of immense compassion and unconditional support. I finally let myself just step back and marvel at this. I stepped outside the day to day and I marveled at what we had built together and like always, was moved to happy tears. Tears that an experience had turned into an idea, an idea into an action, and an action into an identity – the Miss.Conception Coach community. Months have now gently turned into years, and that identity is filled with thousands of familiar faces and stories shared, of marriages getting stronger, families growing, and life long friendships being made. So many full circle journeys. So much has happened in just a few years, yet a lot has stayed the same. There is comfort in both of these realizations. But, I also knew we needed some new energy, and some fresh direction. I found myself reflecting and asking the questions…What do I ultimately want Miss.Conception Coach to offer? What can I give? What can we do together? How can we make a change as a collective group? How can we do more for our community?

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Because we have the power to do so much!

My heart spoke. I want to be there for the person, who in this moment, has no one. The person who is alone crying in the bathroom at a baby shower. The person who just tested and got a BFN, standing with hands shaking, staring at the blank white space. The person who is having a miscarriage at home alone, who is terrified and doesn’t know what to expect. The person who just got their negative BETA back again, and needs to just sit in their car before going back to work and bawl. The person who feels like they can’t go on for even one more day. The person who is too embarrassed and scared to tell anyone about their journey, not even their friends or family. I want to be there for the moment when they need help and are overwhelmed by their own grief. I want to be for others, what I needed at one point, and what everyone needs in their lowest moments of pain. Becoming a part of our sisterhood that just gets it and is there for you, is how this support is possible. (Local face to face groups are in the works and I am so excited to start this next chapter with you all! I will be looking for volunteers and facilitators to help this process along soon!)

Comfort and Hope.

This direction was what had always lead me to be here, and why I am here everyday with such a strong desire to protect and share. To reassure you, that it’s ok to collapse and have a moment. God knows we all need that. That you never need to rush out of these feelings and put on a happy face for anyone. That you never have to whisper, ‘I’m so sorry for crying’. We will sit and ride out this moment together. This would be the one safe place in life, where you can be 100% real and always be seen and be heard. No judgment or expectations. You won’t find a ‘Million And One New Ways To Do Infertility Better’ here. Or suggestions on how to try harder or do more. It is solely a place where you can come and rest emotionally. You will always be reassured that you have done enough. That you are enough. That nothing is your fault in this crazy world of Infertility. You will be told to indulge and pamper your body and nourish your soul. That your feelings always come first. It is something we all need and crave, to know we are truly not alone. That the emotions we feel are valid. That It is ok to feel jealousy, shame, fear, anger yet hopeful, all at once.

My blood, sweat and tears have also been pouring into the launch of Bloom Essentials. Researching, testing, sourcing, and diving into making sure there would be products on the market specifically made for women with Infertility. Launching the renew Body Wash through this passion, has been life changing for myself and for so many TTC Sisters! It is my goal to offer women with Infertility 100% all natural, organic, safe, and fertility friendly products. They deserve this more than any other women out there.

With so many members who were pregnant and having babies, we started a new chapter of Miss.Conception Coach called Bump To Bottles. It was a surprising, wonderful new chapter and one that has been extremely rewarding and joyful! Through our Bloom Essentials page/site we share these incredible stories of pregnancy and motherhood after Infertility.

The truth is you won’t see photos of pregnant women, or stories, or testimonials on the Miss.Conception Coach page/site or groups. It is something I have always been very adamant about and something I feel strongly about maintaining. Protecting TTC Sisters from possible triggers is one of my main concerns and have always vowed to honor that trust. Separating these worlds is very important for maintaining a healthy and safe environment. That said, we also work hard to be inclusive as a community, and are finding fun new ways to do that! We will be launching a new campaign called Give Back, where all donations and proceeds go to the Miss.Conception Coach group TTC Sisters, started by the women in our Bump To Bottles group! Big giveaways are planned! It is a small token of love to show the sisters still fighting, that they are very much supported. We want to make them smile and pamper them a bit! The Bump To Bottles ladies have raised close to $200 dollars worth of amazing goodies, and will soon be launching a non profit Zazzle shop, which features fun T-shirts and other items. So stay tuned!!

My question to you is…What do you need? How do you want support? How can we as a community do more together? I want to hear from you!

Thank you to each and every sister who is here. Who read the posts. Who have joined our groups and programs. Who use the renew products. Who pour your hearts out in comments and through messages. Who continue to support other sisters, even on their bad days when they feel depleted. Thank you for making our community what it is!!

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JOIN THE MISS.CONCEPTION COACH GROUP!

I’m beyond excited for 2018! Good things are going to happen here…
Love + Babydust,
Chiemi xo

How to start existing in the present, even within Infertility.

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Infertility can feel like you are fighting constant daily battles. Sometimes these battles are easily won and sometimes they leave you feeling totally defeated. You can feel ike you are fighting against your own body, physically, and most of the time your own mind, trying to maintain who you are. Persistent loses can leave you feeling (irrationally) angry with those around you. It can take everyday interaction with people and turn them into huge triggers. Waiting in line at a store, hanging out with a friend, a Facebok post, a commercial, a coworker. Small daily things get amplified and suddenly the person complaining they are tired becomes incredibly annoying, when a friend posts about her naughty toddler, a pregnant co worker proclaims she is so done with her pregnancy belly, a next door neighbour yells at her toddler, a story on the news about harm to a neworn baby, a good friend gets knocked up by mistake (again). Sure it’s not rational because each story is their own, and deserves to be heard, but neither is fighting Infertility every.single.dam.day.of.your.life. Trying to hold on to who you are, when not obsessing about trying to get pregnant, is one of the hardest battles you will ever fight. Sometimes you wonder who you would be without this fight. Would you be the girl who smiles more? One ready for adventure at any moment? Making plans on a whim? Would you be connecting with those around me better? Closer? Not having to keep so much of your world and parts of you private. Would you feel more included? Would you have gone on that trip? Bought that car? House? Would you have a different life??? Yes, perhaps. And, as much as you want to be free of this fight with Infertility, you can no longer spend your time endlessly thinking about what if’s and living within spirals of bitterness.
Allow yourself time to grieve for the life you didn’t get to have…and then you move on. Baby steps and slowly. The time has come to get to know the new you. It means you finally allowing yourself to be free of the spiral. You will never stop fighting Infertility, but you cannot keep existing in the in-between — this place where you are convinced that you are just not doing enough to get that BFP. You can’t live in the past anymore either, wondering about all the what if’s. Exist in the present, where you know that Infertility is a battle you have to fight, but where you also know you’ve done, and are doing everything in your power you can to fight through it. Exist in a present where you are supported with love around you. Where you can share your story and feel at home. Exist in the present where you know you have no control after a certain point. Exist in the present where you can change your perspective on how you are feeling, and know you have power over what you feel. Exist in the present where you are open to new possibilities, new ideas and new hope. 
Sign up to join our next 1 Week Free Challenge! Get Fertility Friendly with us as we explore mindful fertility techniques. As well, get back on track with your clean eating with a weeks worth of  delicious Pre-conception Diet recipes.
Let’s do it together! 
Click photo to join:
p.s. Do you know about Bloom Essentialsuntitled-design-10

But, do you know our story? 


Infertility is a medical diagnosis. One that can vary from mild to severe. Sometimes there is no ‘cure’. Even after getting pregnant and having a baby, one is not magically cured. Every couple and how they go about various treatments is different. No two couples are the same. When people suggest they try “this or that” or when other ttcsisters say they have been “cured” of their Infertility just by diet and exercise alone without knowing the couples story, can be a huge slap in the face. This is dangerous and it can give couples a sense of false hope or leaves them feeling like they are not doing something right. It can also make them feel like they have failed or are not trying hard enough. The bottom line is, what may work for some, may not work for others. For some couples, maybe all they needed was diet and lifestyle changes and they got pregnant, and that is truly wonderful. Unfortunately, that is not the case for most couples. So, before we make suggestions about their lifestyle without knowing THEIR story, please take into consideration how these words might impact and hurt. Let’s offer instead words of loving encouragement, and understanding. Chances are they have Dr’s and a whole team, and are already seeking the advice from these medical professionals and implementing a wellness plan and treatment that is specific for their personal needs.

Photos Women With Infertility Want To Post On Social Media, But Don’t. Pt. 3

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Welcome to the third installment of our new photo series: #WHATINFERTILITYLOOKSLIKE.

We hope it will help raise awareness about the realities of #Infertility treatments like IVF/IUI, and what couples endure day after day for sometimes years to try and become parents…

Why is spreading awareness so important? Greater awareness means sending a clear message, ending stigma, and getting people to talk more openly about Infertility. This can be a huge step towards changing behaviour and more importantly it could be a first step to positively addressing the policies that impact funding and grants for couples.

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Hyperstiumulation got me lookin’ 4 months pregnant.
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Breakfast time.

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Getting the first of the intralipid infusion treatments.
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Squished lung thanks to ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome.

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Because sometimes you need moral support from everyone!
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They say no guts, no glory; no bruises, no story. Day 12 of stimulation injections after 3-4 stabs per day.
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When you see your little ones for the first time and 2 weeks later learn it’s the only picture you’ll ever get.

Are you looking for some extra support and a wonderful sisterhood of women who just ‘get it’? Join us!

p.s. Are you going through fertility treatments or will be soon? Looking to get more #fertilityfriendly? We made something just for you!

Infertility doesn’t come with a user manual or Coles notes…

While battling Infertility there’s a lot of hiding. Hiding what you are really feeling, what you are really thinking and what you are really needing. Sometimes to the point where you feel you should apologize. Sorry because you carry a lot of baggage. You don’t want to put anyone out because of this Infertility baggage. You don’t want people to judge you, you don’t want to be a sad story or to be pitied. You don’t want to say sorry for this struggle, but honestly, sometimes you are.
You often end up putting yourself in a protective bubble because you worry if you really let your guard down and emotions out, you’d be seen differently and seen as overly dramatic and weak. Hearing ‘just relax, stay positive, you are still young, it will happen in time, in gods plan, just have fun, just be thankful for everything you have’ doesn’t help validate your feelings, only makes you feel guilty for feeling them.

Infertility doesn’t come with a user manual or Coles Notes for TTC Dummies. The emotions can hit you anytime, anywhere and can leave you in a heap on the kitchen floor. These waves are painful. They can feel numbing and when in this state you need time to just be there. Not to feel rushed out. You don’t want advice or have you thought of trying this or have you talked to your Dr or did you try that. You need someone to sit with you on the kitchen floor, let you work through these feelings and process. In fact, you don’t need anyone to say anything. Sometimes you can’t even express how you are feeling. Your emotions are frantically trying to catch up with what you have experienced. You just need a hug.

So you put on your full metal armor suit and you get back up on that horse, over and over and over again, month after month, even when knocked off. This battle has left you with some battle scars yes, but it has also left you with the most sensitive, giving and empathetic of hearts. You are often the first person to acknowledge others pain and suffering and the first to offer your unconditional love and support, even when it feels like you have nothing left to give. You do. You have so much to offer even through this battle. You are not a sad story or a bother to those who love you. You are human, full of human emotions. So let them out to your person, your safe place. You are never alone. 

Love, Miss.Conception Coach xo

Photos Women With Infertility Want To Post On Social Media, But Don’t. Pt. 2 

Welcome to the second installment of our new photo series: #WHATINFERTILITYLOOKSLIKE.

We hope it will help raise awareness about the realities of #Infertility treatments like IVF/IUI, and what couples endure day after day for sometimes years to try and become parents…

Why is spreading awareness so important? Greater awareness means sending a clear message, ending stigma, and getting people to talk more openly about Infertility. This can be a huge step towards changing behaviour and more importantly it could be a first step to positively addressing the policies that impact funding and grants for couples.

Are you looking for some extra support and a wonderful sisterhood of women who just ‘get it’? Join us!

p.s. Are you going through fertility treatments or will be soon? Looking to get more #fertilityfriendly? We made something just for you!
https://bloom-essentials.myshopify.com/

Photos Women with Infertility want to post on social media but don’t. (And what’s the deal with the 🍍🍍and fertility?)

Welcome to our first installment of our new photo series #WHATINFERTILITYLOOKSLIKE.

We hope it will help raise awareness about the realities of #Infertility treatments like IVF/IUI, and what couples endure day after day, for sometimes years, to try and become parents.

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Scheduling, and more scheduling. Early mornings, timed injections and appointments. Oh and we work full time and try to live a normal life. We may not ever tell you…but this is often why we can’t enjoy trips, vacations, parties, family bbq’s, weddings, birthdays…
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Shots shots shots! Cheers!
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What’s 10 more viles right?
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The stash has arrived…What 6 thousand dollars of drugs looks like.
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No words necessary.
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Does this colour look good on me?
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PUPO! (Pregnant until proven otherwise)
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What courage looks like…
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Now we wait…and pray and cross all fingers + toes.
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Hey remember when we thought one vile was 😳.
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Miracles happening…please stand by.
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What a warrior looks like…
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Footsies warm! Staying positive!
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Another month, another test, more waiting…to unanswered questions.
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Sticks. We get to pee on sticks. Lots of sticks.
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Take 3. Here we go again. God please let this work. We need this to work.
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This is gonna sting like a b*%ch. We got this.
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What hardcore looks like. Shooting needles in cars, because sometimes you have no choice.
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No words can describe what this feels like. It never gets easier. WE CRY WE FAIL WE TRY AGAIN YOUR SUGGESTIONS DON’T HELP WE NEED LESS HAVE YOU TRIED AND MORE I’M SO SORRY’S. WE WILL CONTINUE TO TRY WE ARE NOT FAILING BECAUSE OF HOW LONG IT TAKES US OR HOW WE GET THERE EVEN THO WE ARE USED TO IT, IT NEVER GETS EASIER…
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#WHATINFERTILITYLOOKSLIKE

Are you looking for some extra support and a wonderful sisterhood of women who just ‘get it’? Join us!

p.s. Are you going through fertility treatments or will be soon? Looking to get more #fertilityfriendly? We made something just for you! 

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