1 in 7 makes infertility common, but that doesn’t make it any less traumatic. Whether you’ve ever had a positive pregnancy test an ultrasound or heard a heartbeat. You grieved. Whether it was labelled an ectopic or blighted ovum, chemical pregnancy or embryo. It was still your baby. The trauma and grief of not having that baby is the same. They all count. They all matter. They all should be acknowledged. Yet time and time again women TTC get blindsided with comments that disregard their experience and are met with questions that only bring shame. As if there is some unspoken hierarchy to this TTC process. Women are being denied their grief because we as a culture won’t acknowledge and see it for what it is. The judgment is exactly what we need to fight to remove from these conversations. The stigma prevents women from healing and from sharing their stories. The truth is, it’s not that society doesn’t know about infertility and loss, it’s that we are still meeting it without the dignity it deserves. We live in a society that finds this experience uncomfortable. That feels the need to ‘be positive’ and finds expressing pain and sharing rock bottoms weak and even seen as unstable. It is quite the opposite. 100%. Positivity can be toxic to healing. Yes you read that right. Toxic. The need to always look happy and positive even through trauma, can lead to denial of real emotions. Couples with infertility are constantly told to just ‘relax’, ‘stay hopeful’ and ‘don’t ever give up.’ But at what cost? Ignoring and/or suppressing real emotions like fear, jealousy, anxiety only allows them to grow stronger and fester. Allowing for symptoms to creep into daily life, in ways most don’t even recognize. Not sleeping, feeling anxious for ‘no reason’, being on edge, restless and detachment. We don’t need to judge how we are feeling or how someone else might be feeling, we only need to label it. Labeling our experiences as they are; ugly, traumatic, devastating, crippling…allows us to own these rock bottom moments and take actions and movement forward, into a safer place together.
Getting support and being part of a community that just get’s it, is the single most important thing you can do!
With our Mindful Fertility program, Pre-Conception Diet Makeover and private groups, we help inspire, support and connect sisters daily, from pre-conception to post baby. We just launched our new all natural, organic fertility body care line called Bloom Essentials! Our community of support is the perfect accompaniment to fertility treatments and procedures you might be going through. Our sisterhood of support and guidance is tailored to those experiencing stress and anxiety related to infertility and related procedures such as IUI/IVF.