1 in 7 makes infertility common, but that doesn’t make it any less traumatic.

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1 in 7 makes infertility common, but that doesn’t make it any less traumatic. Whether you’ve ever had a positive pregnancy test an ultrasound or heard a heartbeat. You grieved. Whether it was labelled an ectopic or blighted ovum, chemical pregnancy or embryo. It was still your baby. The trauma and grief of not having that baby is the same. They all count. They all matter. They all should be acknowledged. Yet time and time again women TTC get blindsided with comments that disregard their experience and are met with questions that only bring shame. As if there is some unspoken hierarchy to this TTC process. Women are being denied their grief because we as a culture won’t acknowledge and see it for what it is. The judgment is exactly what we need to fight to remove from these conversations. The stigma prevents women from healing and from sharing their stories. The truth is, it’s not that society doesn’t know about infertility and loss, it’s that we are still meeting it without the dignity it deserves. We live in a society that finds this experience uncomfortable. That feels the need to ‘be positive’ and finds expressing pain and sharing rock bottoms weak and even seen as unstable. It is quite the opposite. 100%. Positivity can be toxic to healing. Yes you read that right. Toxic. The need to always look happy and positive even through trauma, can lead to denial of real emotions. Couples with infertility are constantly told to just ‘relax’, ‘stay hopeful’ and ‘don’t ever give up.’ But at what cost? Ignoring and/or suppressing real emotions like fear, jealousy, anxiety only allows them to grow stronger and fester. Allowing for symptoms to creep into daily life, in ways most don’t even recognize. Not sleeping, feeling anxious for ‘no reason’, being on edge, restless and detachment. We don’t need to judge how we are feeling or how someone else might be feeling, we only need to label it. Labeling our experiences as they are; ugly, traumatic, devastating, crippling…allows us to own these rock bottom moments and take actions and movement forward, into a safer place together.

Getting support and being part of a community that just get’s it, is the single most important thing you can do!

With our Mindful Fertility program, Pre-Conception Diet Makeover and private groups, we help inspire, support and connect sisters daily, from pre-conception to post baby.  We just launched our new all natural, organic fertility body care line called Bloom Essentials! Our community of support is the perfect accompaniment to fertility treatments and procedures you might be going through. Our sisterhood of support and guidance is tailored to those experiencing stress and anxiety related to infertility and related procedures such as IUI/IVF.

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Trying to conceive is a full-time job.

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When a BFP does happen, you get the applause and congrats, an outpouring of love and support. But when it doesn’t happen, you have people who make you question why. Who make you feel guilty for perhaps not doing enough. Who make you question if you are enough. Instead of giving you support for everything you did do. Who make you question the one glass of wine you had or french fries you ate or maybe if you had only done more detoxing, acupuncture, yoga or took more vitamins. The truth is we don’t question pregnant women when their pregnancy becomes high risk, if they get gestational diabetes or pre eclampsia. We don’t put the ‘blame’ back on them. We see the situation as separate from them, something they can’t always control. Which allows for nurturing and empathy for what they have to endure. Women trying to conceive deserve this same understanding. Any complication they might have while trying to get pregnant, is not their fault. It’s nothing they did or didn’t do. They shouldn’t be left feeling like their bodies are failing or that they have control over the outcome if only they tried harder and did more. Women living in this 4 week increment deserve all the support and understanding in the world. They need reassurance that they are enough and have done enough. They don’t need to be left questioning their own bodies and choices they have made. We need to reassure them they DO know their own bodies best. We need to acknowledge the very important job that they are doing, often without an end in sight and with a for sure reward at the end. We need to acknowledge the strength AND courage it takes to continue fighting and remind them of their own. Because the ones who are fighting the hardest shouldn’t feel this invisible. 💕

Getting support and being part of a community that just get’s it, is the single most important thing you can do!

With our Mindful Fertility program, Pre-Conception Diet Makeover and private groups, we help inspire, support and connect sisters daily, from pre-conception to post baby.  We just launched our new all natural, organic fertility body care line called Bloom Essentials! Our community of support is the perfect accompaniment to fertility treatments and procedures you might be going through. Our sisterhood of support and guidance is tailored to those experiencing stress and anxiety related to infertility and related procedures such as IUI/IVF.

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I know…This. Is. Hard. Today.

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Getting support and being part of a community that just get’s it, is the single most important thing you can do!

With our Mindful Fertility program, Pre-Conception Diet Makeover and private groups, we help inspire, support and connect sisters daily, from pre-conception to post baby.  We just launched our new all natural, organic fertility body care line called Bloom Essentials! Our community of support is the perfect accompaniment to fertility treatments and procedures you might be going through. Our sisterhood of support and guidance is tailored to those experiencing stress and anxiety related to infertility and related procedures such as IUI/IVF.

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Thank god for the small unexpected things that remind us that joy is still there.

Thank god for the small unexpected things that remind us that joy is still there. That make us feel alive, even when our joy is buried so deep we think it’s gone forever. That on our darkest days, has the ability to reach down and find that sliver of light.

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Thank god for place that give us peace, where we can shut off the world and remind us there is safe & calm.

Thank god for the people who know how to make us laugh. Who’s hugs feel like home. Who without words can bring comfort.

Thank god for the passions that have the ability to move our souls and sing to our hearts when nothing else can. The music, writing, singing, dancing, making, playing, creating… Small things that find our bliss and give us hope, when all we want to do is disappear. Subconscious healing is sometimes the best kind of healing. So close your eyes, and without thinking, just start…type the words, get up and move, get your hands dirty, put on headphones, turn up the music, get messy with vibrant colours, touch the piano keys, take the picture, taste the food and sip the wine. Without thinking, follow this much deserved moment to where it wants to take you.

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Let yourself enjoy the fleeting moments in between the hard stuff. Then another moment, then again, because your deserve it. Because smiles you can’t control are the best kind of smiles. There is so much joy to be found if we just remind our self that we truly deserve it.

Getting support and being part of a community that just get’s it, is the single most important thing you can do!

With our Mindful Fertility program, Pre-Conception Diet Makeover and private groups, we help inspire, support and connect sisters daily, from pre-conception to post baby.  We just launched our new all natural, organic fertility body care line called Bloom Essentials! Our community of support is the perfect accompaniment to fertility treatments and procedures you might be going through. Our sisterhood of support and guidance is tailored to those experiencing stress and anxiety related to infertility and related procedures such as IUI/IVF.

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Some honest truths about the not so nice things…

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We Aren’t Used To Failing
This infertility thing is big blow. We are used to thriving so this is a blind side. We are so thankful and blessed in so many areas of our life. We are truly thankful for them. Believe me when I tell you, we’ve worked hard to get to every single one of them. We don’t want pity parties. We want understanding, not sad puppy dog eyes. Infertility is a part of our lives, but it is not all of who we are. So just ease up on the judgement, questioning and advice. Navigating this road takes immense strength and courage but we often don’t feel strong. We were not given a choice to be here but will fight like heck to get through it.

We Don’t Move On 
Infertility is extremely complex. We are forced to move on and try again but emotionally we are often not ready.  It has a way of tricking us into believing that bad outcomes will happen again, and again and even when we know that it’s not always the case, we will be terrified. When you experience loss/disappointment on this level, your safety net is ripped open and you live in constant fight or flight mode. Most of the time we don’t show it but it does come out in ways we are not always proud of. Please be (extra) gentle and give us some slack. We feel like we don’t have time. Time to heal. Time to wait. Time to see…

We Are Easily Overwhelmed and Triggered. (Can you blame us!)
If you reach out and we don’t respond right away, we’re not being rude, we’re trying to protect ourselves from endless triggers. We often live on a schedule set by Dr’s for different treatments. Going to appointments we don’t want to be at. Up way too early for any sane human being. Giving ourselves shots in crazy places on our body. Taking drugs that make us feel emotional and irrational. We are having uncomfortable procedures and talking about awkward situations on the daily. So, anything baby related will be a huge trigger right now. We are in between worlds…We are either freshly hurt or going in completely terrified. We’re trying to keep it all together and juggling 10k different things at once. It’s hard to put our self first so please don’t make us apologize for it. We need extra help and understanding right now. There we said it. So please,  don’t add extra pressure or guilt trips on us. Check in. Say hi, lend a hand, heart or ear.

We Are Aware of Our Irrational Thoughts And Hate Ourselves For It (Trust me)
We know all the stats and all our odds and remind our self to flip them around, to stay positive but that doesn’t stop us from fearing the wort case scenarios. The what ifs, that constantly play in our minds. Understand if we hate every pregnant woman around us. We know that these emotions are not always rational, but we don’t need to be reminded of it. We already beat our self up about it. Trust me. Just be on our team no matter what. Sometimes that means Team Bitter Betty and Jealous Jenny. Don’t leave us hangin!

We Want You To Just Imagine For A Second
We want nothing more than for people to try and imagine what it feel like for even a second. There are certain things that we’ll avoid altogether, like baby showers, birthdays, hanging out with pregnant friends. Don’t take it personally. It’s complicated, but basically we are happy for you but sad for us. So when you dismiss your blessing of a child or being pregnant, even for a second it makes us angry. You have to get that. We’re aware that if you’ve never experienced infertility than you can’t relate, but that shouldn’t stop you from being understanding and compassionate. Especially if you are blessed with children yourself. If not YOU to empathize with us, than who??

BONUS! We Appreciate Your Support So Much.  
Know that we appreciate you for taking the time to just be there and for sticking by us as we fight this hard road. Your love and support means more than we can even express. It is felt in those quite, sometimes darkest moments, when we feel the most alone. When we get the text from you that says “Hey! Just wanted to say hi and see how you are.” That is EVERYTHING. That makes this fight possible again tomorrow. That is what helps the most, so thank you. xo

Getting support and being part of a community that just get’s it, is the single most important thing you can do!

With our Mindful Fertility program, Pre-Conception Diet Makeover and private groups, we help inspire, support and connect sisters daily, from pre-conception to post baby.  We just launched our new all natural, organic fertility body care line called Bloom Essentials! Our community of support is the perfect accompaniment to fertility treatments and procedures you might be going through. Our sisterhood of support and guidance is tailored to those experiencing stress and anxiety related to infertility and related procedures such as IUI/IVF.

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Hey Sweet Mama To Be!

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Getting support and being part of a community that just get’s it, is the single most important thing you can do!

With our Mindful Fertility program, Pre-Conception Diet Makeover and private groups, we help inspire, support and connect sisters daily, from pre-conception to post baby.  We just launched our new all natural, organic fertility body care line called Bloom Essentials! Our community of support is the perfect accompaniment to fertility treatments and procedures you might be going through. Our sisterhood of support and guidance is tailored to those experiencing stress and anxiety related to infertility and related procedures such as IUI/IVF.

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Infertility makes you feel guilty.(But we won’t let it.)

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Getting support and being part of a community that just get’s it, is the single most important thing you can do!

With our Mindful Fertility program, Pre-Conception Diet Makeover and private groups, we help inspire, support and connect sisters daily, from pre-conception to post baby.  We just launched our new all natural, organic fertility body care line called Bloom Essentials! Our community of support is the perfect accompaniment to fertility treatments and procedures you might be going through. Our sisterhood of support and guidance is tailored to those experiencing stress and anxiety related to infertility and related procedures such as IUI/IVF.

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