We have words for the loss of a baby, such as miscarriage and still-born. 1st 2nd 3rd trimester technicalities, all very clinical and cold. Loss is loss. Pain is pain. Grieving the death of a life that was growing inside of you, a life that could have been, at any stage is…there are simply no words. None.
We don’t have a word for when someone goes through fertility treatment like IVF or IUI and it ‘fails’. The loss of that Emby Baby is just as real and painful and devastating. The added stress of these treatment plans, injections, procedures and on top of that, the monetary pressure, is unfathomable. Yet it’s done unselfishly out of love.
The love you have is instant, from the moment your Emby Baby is inside of you. But, how do you grieve when that Emby Baby stops growing? What do you do with the pain of your hopes and dreams slipping away? The pain of allowing yourself to be vulnerable again. The pain of promising yourself you wouldn’t get invested so early, but did because how could you not? You sit in shock and defeat, ready to give up, not because you want to, but because you can’t fathom loss on this level – again. Where does your support come from to get through this pain? Maybe half of the people in your life don’t even know what you have endured. Most won’t really understand and others, well you don’t want to share such personal feeling with. So you smile through your pain, pretending you are ok. One day mamma today and everyday I want you to know we see your loss. We validate your feelings. You have the right to mourn your precious Emby Baby. It’s not just a ‘failed cycle’ because the cells stopped dividing. (God can we stop making it about that.) He/she was your Emby Baby and I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m so sorry you had to endure all of that and are left with arms empty.
This Mother’s Day is extra hard…We will wrap our arms around you and hold you tight. You have a safe place to grieve. You have a community that get’s it, where you never have to hide or put on a fake smile. Let’s simply acknowledge each other this Sunday.
Getting support and being part of a community that just get’s it, is the single most important thing you can do!
With our Mindful Fertility program, Pre-Conception Diet Makeover and private groups, we help inspire, support and connect sisters daily, from pre-conception to post baby. We just launched our new all natural, organic fertility body care line called Bloom Essentials!