Just when you think you know what your body is telling you, it can turn out to be the exact opposite. Which leaves you thinking you don’t know your body at all. That you are even imagining symptoms, which leaves you feeling disconnected from yourself.
Just when you start to feel hopeful, you are knocked down by disappointment of a failed cycle. Which leaves you feeling like ‘why bother’. Why allow myself to go all in emotionally if I’m only going to be hurt again and again.
Just when you think you are feeling more secure and stable you are floored with uncontrollable feelings of resentment and jealousy. Which leaves you feeling lost, overly emotional and alone.
So, if someone asks what infertility feels like month after month it’s THIS. It’s soldiering on despite all those feelings. It’s the mental game of telling yourself the self detriment is not true. Reminding yourself that you DO know your body, you do trust your symptoms, that it is ok to go all in and stay positive and hopeful, and that feeling angry and jealous doesn’t make you a bad person.
Promise me you will remind yourself that pregnancy symptoms and other hormone induced symptom are almost exactly the same! That’s why it’s so tricky and hard. It’s not that you don’t know your own body because you DO. You know it better than anyone else. Reminding yourself that committing to the next round with an open heart is terrifying but that your one day baby deserves a start like that. Filled with positive emotions and only loving warm thoughts. That each month can be a new start, despite the disappointments before. That carrying over the pain is not helpful emotionally to your own being. Reminding yourself that healing is always two steps forward and one step back. That you are only human. (And an exceptional one!!) That some days we feel on top of everything and some days we are just surviving. Triggers can creep in, even on our best of days. It doesn’t mean you are not ok or doing enough. Remind yourself you had a 90% strong, centered and amazing day. Let the other 10% go. 💞
Getting support and being part of a community that just get’s it, is the single most important thing you can do!
With our Mindful Fertility program, Pre-Conception Diet Makeover and private groups, we help inspire, support and connect sisters daily, from pre-conception to post baby. We just launched our new all natural, organic fertility body care line called Bloom Essentials! Our community of support is the perfect accompaniment to fertility treatments and procedures you might be going through. Our sisterhood is tailored to those experiencing stress and anxiety related to infertility and related procedures such as IUI/IVF.