For those of you reading this right now, who do not have to struggle with Infertility, I am going to share five things you need to know about couples who are. May these five incredible things encourage you to understand their fight and will to never give up on having their one day baby.
May it help you empathize with their life and this dream, one we often take for granted.
May it help you be more aware of what they truly have to endure.
May it simply just inspire you to appreciate them, and when the time comes, tell them how much you love and admire them.
For those couples reading this, who are fighting with Infertility right now. This one’s for you.
1. Couples with Infertility have superhuman strength when dealing with resiliency.
They don’t give up, despite debilitating loss and struggle they may experience month after month. They push through and grab hold of what they can, to find hope and inspiration. They dig deeper than they ever imagined they could and muster enough strength and courage, to try again. This relentless perseverance, is always an ongoing battle, to try and stay positive and hopeful. In a nut shell, they embody profound fortitude because they don’t have a choice. That is true courage. This is true dedication.
2. Couples with Infertility are the most empathetic people you know.
Because they have endured their own difficult struggles, they are more in tune with those around them. They can spot a fake smile and tired eyes…They have extraordinary empathy and compassion for others, and a deep understanding of life’s hardships. So, they can truly appreciate someone else’s. When someone is hurting, they are often the first to respond and console with true compassion, because they know the significance of having support in those moments. Even with everything they have going on, they will take the time to offer you a shoulder to lean, and an ear to listen without judgment.
Reach out to them and tell them how much you appreciate their compassion as a friend.
3. Couples with Infertility have a much deeper perspective on life.
They are challenged emotionally and mentally month after month, with treatment after treatment. Test after test…They fight to find answers, meaning and fulfillment within their own daily limitations. So, small victories, bring huge elation and are reason to celebrate. They see life’s simple joys, because they are still fighting for them. Which is why, when people complain about them, it can be such a trigger. They would gladly trade with you in a heart beat…
Reach out to them and tell them how you are inspired by their perspective.
4. Couples with Infertility often don’t tell you they are fighting.
Couples are often fighting for months on end, which slowly turn into years. They don’t want to burden… They might struggle privately because they hate to make people feel uncomfortable or obligated in any way. They don’t want pity or to see it in your eyes. You might notice they disappear sometimes and need space – they have to miss events, social activities, and friends and family gatherings. They desperately want to join, and to be there more than anything. They feel guilty for not being able to share with you, but they just can’t sometimes. They are secretly balancing two lives, and living in two worlds.
Reach out to them when you notice they aren’t around and let them know they are missed. Invite them anyway.
5. Couples have a whole private Infertility community.
They may not look like they are always struggling, but underneath their happy appearance there is a couple fighting with everything they have. They may fall apart as soon as they get home, after keeping the facade for hours wherever they were. They may be on a strict medical plan. Needles, medication, procedures, appointments…They may mask their fatigue from this and tell you they are ok. They can’t always share face to face with close family and friends, but do have a whole community of love and support they lean on. At any given moment, they have a whole medical team monitoring their every bodily move! Sometimes only people who have experienced something similar, truly understand, but it doesn’t mean they still don’t need you.
Reach out and just say hi, I’m thinking of you. Then listen, with empathy and love. Offer NO advice.
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