To My Partner: This is how I need you to love me through this.

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Give me some time to cry or just be quiet for as long as I need, without asking what’s wrong or if I am ok. I need that moment. I might not have words to describe how I am feeling and need time to process this. My brain is trying to catch up to my heart. I’m not ok, but that has to be ok right now.

Give me validation for acting not ok, even if this means making things uncomfortable. Hearing someone say ‘it’s going to be ok’, or ‘it’s not the end of the world’, or offering advice or solutions only make me feel invalidated and oddly enough guilty for feeling like this. It might take me 5 min or an hour or days to get through this stage, this may seem extreme, but these are my emotions and I will not feel rushed to make others feel better. I will be positive again but reminding me to be right now will make me angry as hell.

Give me your love and a hug. This is the most important part of being there for me. Give me space while sitting with me. Even if it’s sitting on the floor or lying on the bed. I will be calmed by you just being near me, holding me. This unity and acceptance is what gets me to the next step of healing.

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