Inspiration to anyone going through the heartache and grief that is infertility

Welcome to ‘Inspiration Monday’ via Bump to Bottles, a new addition of Miss.Conception Coach! What better way to start off the week, then with a reminder, that miracles ARE happening all the time, all around us…

IMG_8341For as long as I can remember I have always wanted to be a mother. When I was little I used to tell people when I grew up I wanted to be a mummy with high heels and a pushchair! My husband wasn’t as keen to start a family but after we had been married for about 6 months we decided to start trying. Stupidly we thought it would happen straight away! I came off the pill which I had religiously been taking for ten years since the age of 16. Each and every month that went by was heartbreaking for me. Going through the ups and downs on convincing yourself this was the month! My husband then got offered a job in South Africa which was too good an opportunity to miss so off he went for 5 months leaving me back home. It was upsetting to put baby making on hold but thought it would be no problem when he was back! My periods hadn’t come back very regularly so at least this was time I needed for the pill to leave my system! Then when he came back we got straight back to it! In fact a little too much! I ended up with a bad kidney infection and they also suspected kidney stones! I was sent for an ultrasound which showed the first sign of a problem! The lady scanning me mentioned a fibroid but as I wasn’t there for that reason she couldn’t tell me a lot! I had to go back to my GP to get a referral for another ultrasound. The lady was very blunt! You do know you have severe pcos don’t you? NO! I was crushed! My heart broke again! At that stage it wasn’t because of what is had just found out but that I just knew the road ahead was soooo long! We then had lots more blood tests, sperms tests and everything and my hormones were all over the place! Over this time my periods had pretty much stopped. The fertility doctor prescribed weight loss, Provera and Clomid! We did 6 rounds of Clomid! I ovulated about 4 of those times and always had 2 good folicles and sizes! Nothing! The nhs wanted me to keep trying with cclomid and iui but I was done!
We decided to go private. The doctor was fab! He said we didn’t need iui but suggested timed intercourse with femera and a trigger shot. It was hard travelling for all the monitoring and scans but we did it and triggered a huge 22mm folicle! I took a test 2 weeks later and bang I was pregnant! We were so thrilled! Couldn’t believe it had finally happened after 2 years! It was finally our turn! Then one week later I was at work and got a severe pain in my tummy! It felt so swollen too! I drove myself to the hospital and my husband met me there. By the time I got there I was in blinding agony! No idea how I drove. I was rushed in and given morphine for the pain! I couldn’t speak I was just grunting in pain! They examined me and it was the first time I saw the blood. I knew it was all over. We had to wait what felt like an eternity for a scan which showed the worst thing we could imagine. The baby was in my right Fallopian tube and it had ruptured. We both fell apart in that scan room, I lost a piece of my heart. I was rushed in for surgery and I lost my tube. Getting over something like that is the hardest thing I have ever faced I didn’t think I would ever stop crying and didn’t leave the house for 6 weeks. But with the help and support of my family and an amazing counselor 3 months later we were back to try again! This time for IVF. I had all the meds ready and I had to call on day 2 of my period. Due on the 5th Jan. Christmas was busy but I was still devastated from the loss and it’s hard over the holidays but I had the love of my husband and the hope of ivf in the new year. By the 6th Jan my period hadn’t arrived and I was getting strong cramps. Anyday now I was thinking! My husband convinced me to test and I did thinking there is no possible way! We couldn’t believe our eyes and luck! Ten pregnancy tests later and it had finally happened! Our own miracle baby! I’m now 19 weeks and although I still have to pray for this baby I hope this story is an inspiration to anyone going through the heartache and grief that is infertility

xx Laura


 

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